I'm Still Here Watching You So Get A Clue!

This week UGH was in rare form. Lets start with Friday. The head dipshit CEO of the corperation is supose to come in to tour the store. So, what happens? The little bosses go into mega cleaning mode. Keep in mind that the store is in the middle of a remodle. Plaster dust and just plain dirt is everywhere. What is good old Doublebagger's job you might ask. Scubbing the doors on the dairy cases. Very, very nasty job. This involves sqatting down for almost two hours. When done I have to go do my normal job and I can hardly walk. Still hurts to do so. Now do you think head dip shit shows. No, they call at 3:30 and say we don't think we're coming.

Then today, still hobbling around like a cripple. I get to do a carry out for a very old woman. Now, I wish she smelled like ass, I really do. No, that would be too easy. This woman insists I walk behind her, and what does she do ladies and gentlemen. Keep in mind we are outside at this point. She lets go of the most horrific fart in the history of farts. Keep in mind on family vacations we had the one eats chili all eat chili rule. It was so bad being outside with a breeze even. I had watery eyes and couldn't help gagging.

Also today, I do another carryout for another equally dense old bat and dumber friend. I open the trunk of the car and am assaulted by the most horrific smell in the world, and one of the most dangerous. I once again wish it was just ass. In which case I wouldn't have to worry about the safety of these two dingbats. It was gasoline. She had a full gas can in her trunk with the lid only loosely fastened. It had spilt all over a plastic cover she had in her trunk. I told her I smelt gas and it looked like the gas can was leaking. And what does the rocket scientist say" I don't smell anything. Do you?" asking the even dumber friend who says"No." The inside of the car smelt as bad as the trunk. The woman informed me I should just put her groceries packed paper in plastic in the puddle of gas and be on my way. I advised her to clean the gas up before the 45 minute drive she was planning this afternoon.

And on a lighter note I saw a very disgusting purchase combo this weekend. Not including all the old women buying the cucumbers. EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW. No, it was a fairly young lady who purchase the pleasure pack of condoms. Nothing wrong there. But she bought it with some Preperation H Cooling Gel.

Well, you just dwell on the rude, disgusting, and stupidity of your fellow man/woman/old people and I'll look for some more strange and bizzare things in my life to write about.