It's almost been a year since I reposted my first post so here it is.

Yes this is a highly exagerated version of events. It wouldn't have been my first blog post without exageration.

What did those potatos ever do to you?


It's late there are only a handful of employees on the night shift at United Grocery Hell, UGH for short. A rather large woman enters the store. She's on a mission...a mission from God, or maybe the voices in her head. How the hell should I know? Her destination the swinging double doors in the back of the produce department. Maybe she had a childhood trauma involving a violating vegetable? How the hell should I know? Maybe she didn't get that Mr. PotatoHead doll? How the hell should I know? All I do know is that those poor potatos never hurt anyone, and an innocent young man was traumatized and nearly blinded. He still fears walking through the produce department and seeing the potatos.When we last saw rotund lady with the mission. She was on her way through the doors at the back of the produce department. Meanwhile the Innocentone was doing his job not bothering anyone. Who could have his life would never be the same? The enormous woman entered the doors. What went through her mind when she saw the step ladder and the pallet piled high with the innocent potatos, we will never know. What we do know comes from the Innocentone, after much therapy and drugs. He thought he saw a white apron hovering above the pallet of potatos. Every employee of UGH came running when they heard the screams. "IT' S THE ASS...THE ASS!!" "OH MY GOD, I'M BLIND!!" They found him unconscious on the floor clutching his eyes. Later, he recounted seeing the enormous woman hoisting her 450 pound bulk onto the top of the pallet of potatos. Where she proceeded to releave herself...urinate...pee..let loose the piss of war upon the poor helpless potatos who had never hurt a soul, and damage an innocent young man for the rest of his life.And what you may ask was the reaction of the woman in charge. The woman whose job it was to protect us from the evil pissers, the defilers of vegetables, and the the traumatizers of innocent young men. Did she call the police, you may ask? Did she call the zoo to tranquilize the creature? No, No I tell you she did nothing, but demand the potatos be banished back to wence they came and decree all record of the incident be erased from the record for all time. Also no mention of the inident was to be made.The one in charged declared for all to hear, "SHE COULD HAVE BEEN THE SECRET SHOPPER!!!

Thanks to all of you who read this blog and enjoy it.

ttfn