It's almost been a year since I reposted my first post so here it is.

Yes this is a highly exagerated version of events. It wouldn't have been my first blog post without exageration.

What did those potatos ever do to you?


It's late there are only a handful of employees on the night shift at United Grocery Hell, UGH for short. A rather large woman enters the store. She's on a mission...a mission from God, or maybe the voices in her head. How the hell should I know? Her destination the swinging double doors in the back of the produce department. Maybe she had a childhood trauma involving a violating vegetable? How the hell should I know? Maybe she didn't get that Mr. PotatoHead doll? How the hell should I know? All I do know is that those poor potatos never hurt anyone, and an innocent young man was traumatized and nearly blinded. He still fears walking through the produce department and seeing the potatos.When we last saw rotund lady with the mission. She was on her way through the doors at the back of the produce department. Meanwhile the Innocentone was doing his job not bothering anyone. Who could have his life would never be the same? The enormous woman entered the doors. What went through her mind when she saw the step ladder and the pallet piled high with the innocent potatos, we will never know. What we do know comes from the Innocentone, after much therapy and drugs. He thought he saw a white apron hovering above the pallet of potatos. Every employee of UGH came running when they heard the screams. "IT' S THE ASS...THE ASS!!" "OH MY GOD, I'M BLIND!!" They found him unconscious on the floor clutching his eyes. Later, he recounted seeing the enormous woman hoisting her 450 pound bulk onto the top of the pallet of potatos. Where she proceeded to releave herself...urinate...pee..let loose the piss of war upon the poor helpless potatos who had never hurt a soul, and damage an innocent young man for the rest of his life.And what you may ask was the reaction of the woman in charge. The woman whose job it was to protect us from the evil pissers, the defilers of vegetables, and the the traumatizers of innocent young men. Did she call the police, you may ask? Did she call the zoo to tranquilize the creature? No, No I tell you she did nothing, but demand the potatos be banished back to wence they came and decree all record of the incident be erased from the record for all time. Also no mention of the inident was to be made.The one in charged declared for all to hear, "SHE COULD HAVE BEEN THE SECRET SHOPPER!!!

Thanks to all of you who read this blog and enjoy it.

ttfn

This is a repost.

It's still good advise.

A few tips from good old Doublebagger for you dumbasses out there who don't know how to look in public:

1. Shower. Wash your nasty funky ass with soap and water.
2. If your jacket looks and smells like it's been pissed on don't wear it.
3. You should never wear pants with obvious piss and shit stains radiating down the legs.
4. If your shirt came with a collar and it no longer has it and has several very large very recent stains on it THROW IT AWAY. You don't need to look that bad we can tell by your lack of dental hygiene that you are white trash.
5. Brush your nasty assed teeth. If you can afford ding-dongs with cash you can afford a toothbrush and toothpaste. We do have a dollar store in town.
6. Do not use a public disabled cart if it is possible people can smell you on it later.
7. Tuna is not an appealing scent.
8. If I can't tell the difference between you and the crab you just bought by scent. You don't need to buy the KY Jelly.
9. I must say again. SOAP IS NOT AN OPTION TO BE OVERLOOKED.
10. Deoderant buy it, use it.


Good advice is never a waste of time.

ttfn

Carpet steam cleaner

Today I got me a carpet cleaner. I had one but it was tiny and it sucked. So I got me a big powerful one.

Tomarrow I go back to work again. I wish I could be rich so I didn't have to work. I am surounded by whinny men. They are all sick, snotty, and spitty.

The vivid descriptions of mucus color is enough to make one sick.

Now I'm taking airborne hoping that I don't get sick. I'm making the others take it just to punish them with the bad taste of it. I just can't afford to get sick right now.

I guess that's it for tonight.

ttfn

Hello all.

Hey I have to go back to work on Sunday. Well, tomarrow at 5 pm I have reservations at Outback. Then Saturday I get to take my youngest to get his first non-mom hair cut.

So, today I got a new computer desk chair. It's leather and it smells. Much better than a sprung spring in the crotch. I also got a couple of organizers for my bathroom. I also bought a pair of work pants, some more underware, and hair dye. Soon I shall be burgundy again. Yeah.

I guess that's it for now. Tomarrow we completely dump and redo my computer. We are also ordering a new video card and some more memory for this peice of shit. Then maybe it will work better after that.

ttfn

I got a lot of shit to do tomarrow.

I guess tomarrow is a serious cleaning day. Which means that we are reorganizing the kitchen cabinets. We went to costco today so half the stuff is sitting on the table with no where to go. That means we have to reorganize shit tomarrow. I've read all of "Brother Odd" and " Mistral's Kiss." That means I only have 3 more books left to read before I have to hit the library again.

Blockbuster online has sent me my "Jack of all Trades" cd's. So, I have three of those to watch. I also have lady in the water and rv to watch. As soon as we watch the jack of all trades dvd's then we will take them back to Blockbuster and get 3 more movies. I'm trying to figure out what we want to do on Friday for our late Valentines night out.

My honey is napping right now so I'm bored out of my gourd. The boys will go to bed in about a half an hour. I think I might play my sims game after they go to bed. I think that we will go to the bank on thursday. We'll get quarters and maybe hit the laundry mat to wash all the bedding in this place. I really would like to have this place cleaned up before I go back to work.

I guess that's all for tonight.

ttfn

I am so cool you hurt.

Not really, but I thought it was a catchy title. I'm bored out of my mind tonight. I played about 4 hours of the sims. Now I've posted almost the same thing on here as on my myspace. I am so fucking bored. I think I may scratch my ass just to have something different to do. Not even anything on tv at midnight. I'm thinking I may go shower and curl up with brother odd for a while and go to sleep. Maybe. I've been drinking soda for 3 hours straight so I don't know how realistic that option is.

My honey is playing his online game tonight. Tomarrow I go to hud and on tuesday I get to go to costco and maybe best buy. I don't know. Well, maybe I'll have something more interesting to post tomarrow. Maybe not. Oh fucking well. See ya all around.

ttfn

It's been over a month.

Long time no see y'all. I've been working a lot lately. I hardly have time to take a piss more less post. Tonight I'm settling in with a beer, and typing this shit up.

I got my tax money. So, now it's time to fix the car. Hopefully it will be done tomarrow. The catalitic converter went out. I don't know. I'm going to read my drivers manual tonight and go take the test for my permit tomarrow. Then I'll hopefully be able to mark one of my goals at HUD off my list.

Next I hope I get my vacation next week. Maybe then I will feel creative enough to post some more.

Though I did get Lisey's Story by Stephen King and Brother Odd by Dean Koontz today. I also got another Dean Koontz book. I needed some new reading material, and I haven't had time to go to the library lately.

Well, Maybe I'll post more soon. Then again maybe I won't.

ttfn