20 Random thoughts

These are a few random thoughts I've had over the last few days. (Keeping in mind I was running a fever for two of the last three days.)


1. Gatorade is good.
2. Work sucks.
3. Life sucks.
4. Sex is good.
5. Porn is ok.
6. Chocolate is good.
7. People are dumbasses.
8. You can choose your friends but not your family.
9. Eight is not necisarily a bad thing.
10. Ex's are ex's for a reason.
11. Time is relative.
12. Racists are stupid fucks.
13. Why do really stinky farts linger?
14. Why do ugly people breed?
15. If stupid people stopped breeding would the human race die out.
16. If time is relative. Why are relatives never on time?
17. Why does the word merry sound like someting that makes people so sad?
18. If your ex dies in the woods and no one is around to see it did you really kill him?(just kidding)
19. Why is the word fuck a good and a bad thing?
20. If you can't make a decision, What kind of fence are you sitting on? Hopefully not a picket fence.

Ok. That's all for right now.

ttfn

Hell yeah, I don't have to work tomarrow. No more ass kissing today.

I am done with my ass kissing job for today. I can now be as big a bitch as I wanna be. I think I'll sit and laugh for a minute. HaHaahahahahahahhahhahahhahhahhahahhahhahhahhahha
Ok that's good. Tonight I think I'll watch a disaster movie and have a good laugh. I feel a bit sick and twisted today.

The kids will be with their dad for the forth of July. So, if I have the day off I'll spend it with my Zevon. He is just about the sexiest man I know. To me. He is right behind my kids in my heart. He is the only person I don't feel the need to make fun of.

On to dumbasses on parade. Today lots of stupid people came in and stood right under the sign for what they wanted. Then they ask where the item is.

ttfn

Tomarrow I must go to work.

As it stands right now I get to have 23 hours this week after being sick today. I don't know how, but tomarrow I will muttle through.

My honey,Zevon, will have the monsters all day from 9-5 tomarrow. I can't think of anything funny tonight. My head is pounding and I already puked up my innereds. Maybe work will give me something interesting to post.

Goodnight all.

ttfn

I am sooo... sick.

I'm sick. I hate puking. This is going to be a short one. Ralph and Earl (ralph and hurl) have entered the building. As I type this I wonder how long until I must worship the porcalain(spelling still sucks) god again. I just got up an hour ago. The children have thrashed the apartment. When I'm done I'm going back to bed. After I check my e-mail. Goodday.

ttfn

It's Monday.

I got Monday off this week. Which means, what exactly? It means that I get to do laundry, dishes, and make my kids shower. The shower being the hardest. Why you might ask? Two boys ages 7 and 10, the 7 year old would stay in the shower forever once he stops running around the house naked yelling look I'm naked. The 10 year old acts like water is poison. I think he must believe he'll melt or die instantly if soap touches his skin.

Well, today the smell is making my eyes water. So, to the tub they go even if I have to chase them down, strip them, and throw them in the shower. I don't know why they can't just get in, get clean, and get out.

The 10 year olds feet smell like, I don't know there is no description to discribe the smell. An outhouse smells better.

About a year ago I thought they had put some food related thing under my bed. The smell was nausiating. So, I cleaned out from under the bed. What you may ask did I find? I found his shoes. That was all that was under the bed behind the ususal t-shirts and underware that usually acumulate under the bed. That is how bad his feet smell.

I hate house work. The dishes are calling and so is laundry and vacuuming. I'll think of more later.

ttfn

Once again eeewwwww!

People can be sick and twisted. If I ever get really old and tacky just shoot me. Today I and a co-worker had to clean up shit on aisle 3. Yes, ladies and gentlemen right next to the salad dressing was a big old pile of shit. It wasn't a little turd it was a heap. So, How you might ask can this happen? How the hell should I know. This isn't the first time it's happened either.

This time I actually wonder how it happened. How many times did the person have to shake their leg in order to drop that smelly gift on us? The question that is even worse is: How on the blinding white floor in the middle of a brightly lit aisle did someone miss it step in it, and run a cart through it? People in general are dumb asses.


The last time someone shit a puddle at the end of aisle between 10 and 11. Then not less than 20 people walked and ran their carts through it tracking it all over the store before someone came to say something about it even being there. From the puddle there was little shit drops of varying sizes all the way back to the mens bathroom. Guess who had to clean that shit pile up? Yes, It was good old Doublebagger herself.

So, If you can at all help it please don't shit on the floor. Try to make it to the restroom. If you can't please descretly ask for the manager or have someone in your party do it for you, and let them know you've had an accident. Then the wheels of all carts won't have to be checked for shit.

ttfn

As I sit and watch tv.

I reflect as I watch TV and listen to my kids play in the bedroom. What is maturity?

1. Not letting your mouth write a check your ass can't cash.

2. Doing shit you don't want to do because it will benifit your family i.e...working.

3. Learning usless shit so you can answer your kids stupid questions. While acting like it's not a stupid question.

4. Not being a total dumbass all the time.

5. Treating people like they deserve to be treated. (see 2 and 6for exceptions)

6. Kissing the bosses ass to their face to feed your kids and keep a roof over their heads. Who cares what you say behind their back you need the job.

7. Loving yourself and your family. (Even uncle asshole who treats you like shit.)

I'm sure there are more things. Maturity is a wide and varied concept.

WTF? You did what?

Today's work quote of the day comes from the great and powerless UGH leader I Haveum Noballs in reference to me:


"I trained her myself can't you tell."

What the fuck? OK, first off I really had no training for my job.(I don't consider 7 hours spent learning on a computer training to be a courtesy clerk.) Second I have been at this UGH store longer than I Haveum Noballs has been with the corperation. Yeah right dream on dumb fuck. Why don't ya try growing a pair and do your job?

Ingredients for what?

Ok, what exactly does misprinting tags help with? Well it makes for a fucked up post doesn't it. The KY tag was a misprint. We got the actual scented product in today. Plus a few products I really couldn't believe UGH would carry. After all we are not a sex shop. So, what was the scented product you might ask? Sensual warming massage oil by KY. Of course you can't forget the Evening Wash also in the same two scents as the massage oil. The label on the evening wash says to use it to make yourself smell more touchable. So, lets paraphrase, Your ass smells funky. Use this good smelling shit and you'll get laid. Though the massage oil says on it,"Not to be used as a personal lubricant." So, first you have to use the evening wash to make your ass smell good, then you have to rub the same scented oil on yourself and your partner, and finally you have to use good old fasioned KY to lube up for sex. Is it just me, or is this way too much work and too much mess for good old fashioned boot knockin'?

The next product that is new at least to my eyes at the store is Astroglide. If we carried it before I didn't see it. The thing is even if we did, we sure as hell didn't carry it in 2 sizes and in 2 sizes in the warming. UGH even has it's own store brand of personal lubricant now. UGH also carries Touch of Mint flavored condoms. Right along side the pleasure pack and the Magnums(the demand for these has gone up lately which is good or wishful thinking).

You know there must have been one hell of an orgy at UGH headquarters about a month ago. This week at your neighborhood UGH, UGH brand pregnancy tests are buy one get one free. If that isn't just about the wierdest sale ever I don't know what is.

Well, that's about it for today.

ttfn

Someone please make my little evil minion go to sleep.

Yes, I know it's late and I should be in bed. Being as I have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn to be at work by 9 am. The problem is the big minion is staying the night with a friend so the little one doesn't want to go to sleep alone in his bed. Well, I'm sleeping alone in my bed tonight. Last night Baby Bear stayed over so she slept in my bed with me. Tonight I will sleep in nothing but my thong. Thank you very much. If I wanted to sleep with my kids for the rest of my life I'd have bought long flannel night gowns and a bunch of granny panties. Not to mention a bigger bed. I do have pajama shorts and tank tops for the rare ocasions the little one is sick and in danger of a major seizure night. This is a rare event. Besides the last 4 times the little one has slept in my bed he puked all over it, and he messed up two comforters last time. So hopefully soon he will go to sleep and stay that way until Zevon sees fit to wake him up tomarrow. Well, I need to try to go to bed now.

If I remember more will come tomarrow.

ttfn

KY Jelly

KY Jelly now comes in scents. Scents you may ask. Yes scented KY Jelly. Ew ew ew! Next thing you know it will be flavored. The product is KY Warming Liquid. If you smell nasty enough you need your lube to be scented. Why not just take a long, hot, soapy bubble bath? You know that has been known to help. If your problem is you or your man need aroma therapy to get in the mood that's what scented candles are for.

Back to the funky crotch problem. If it's that bad duche. If you don't like that option they make feminine spray, powder, and soap. You don't need your crotch smelling like a summer breeze. Just non-funky will do. Why three new scents? Why not one? Last time I checked perfumes could cause nasty rashes in that area. If the problem is fds (funky dick syndrome) soap and water will do.

If none of these options worked try seeing your doctor. You might have some kind of fungus. Ew ew ew!! Yes, I know this is nasty, but it's all about the shock factor. Or ick factor if you will.

If I think of anything else I will type it later.

ttfn

Let's try something new.

Lets see I think I will do a work quote of the day. You know, when I remember.

Todays will be a quote from me:

"I'm rather fond of my broomstick. Thank you very much, and if you don't like it I can tell you where you can put it."

This is a quote I use daily. For one reason alone. Everyday at work someone tells me to be nice. Why the hell would I want to be nice to a dumb ass. I love to tell people that the dish soap is right under the sign that says "dish washing liquid." See dumb asses. My job is not mentally challenging it's physically challenging. I think of a lot of stupid shit while I deal with dumb asses with out calling them what they are.

Cleaning day.....ewwww.

If you can't tell already I hate house work, but thank god for mom. Yesterday she made the boys clean their room while I was at work. Then there's my Zevon who makes them clean up the living room and dining area while I'm at work. Right now I'm doing laundry and dishes. I need to clean my room.

On to the good thing. I get to decorate. I've lived here for almost a year and have yet to really decorate anything. I'm going to hang ugly duck pictures and such. Put a beautiful waterbed head board on my dresser to make a shelf for my knick knacks. Then I'm going to figure out how to make this place more like home I might be here a while. I was hoping to get a house in the next few months, but the car needs work again. So, I'm looking at somewhere around February. Maybe. I might post some more tonight. I don't know.

ttfn

The bitch didn't even call.

I try to avoid posting too much that is bad about my ex in the interest of my boys. Oh fucking well. Today is Father's Day and the Bitch didn't even call his kids. I was off line forever waiting for him to at least call them. Did he? Hell no. I shouldn't have been so dumb as to think he would. He does this all the time. He was not a good husband, but he was usually a good dad. Until the girlfriend came into the picture. He hardly ever sees them even though he lives like 15 min. away and has a car. While I was on the phone with him the other day he asked the girlfriend when would be a good time for him to take the kids for 2 weeks. What was her answer to that? "On your days off." I don't think she likes the responability that comes with the little one and monitoring his meds. Good thing he got fixed after the little one was born or she might be in the same boat now. Being as his family is the one with epilepsy. Ok, I'm sitting here trying not to let my kids see how mad I am that he doesn't give a damn.

Well, who needs his sorry ass? They have my boyfriend Zevon and he has been a better dad to them in this last year we've been together than he has since he left. I hope for his sake he starts to act like a dad. No matter what they love him.

That's enough. ttfn.

My knee is killing me and my doctor is a dumb ass.

I have had some serious pain in the left side of my right knee for about a month and a half now.
Well, I finally broke down this week and went to the doctor. What did he tell me you might ask?
He says,"that's interesting. How did you do it?" That is what I went to him for. I wanted for him to tell me what was wrong with me. I thought that was why I paid my $20 co-pay for. Well, guess what he tells me? He says he thinks I stretched out the ligament on the left side of my knee, but doesn't know how that's possible without more damage. How the hell should I know I'm not a doctor. Now I paid my money and saw the doctor and he tells me to get a $20 knee brace. Which I was planning on doing anyway. That's $40 when it could have been $20. The best part is if it doesn't work I get to go to 6-8 weeks of physical therapy. You know the options just get worse from there. OK, so we're up to $40 plus $20 a week for 8 weeks. That equals $200. Now you must realize after taxes and union dues I make like $140 a week. Surgury would cut my income to like $80 a week on disability. The totals are all with insurance. Surgury would cost me $50 plus $20 for the doctor $20 for the anistesiologist. Thats like $280 without prescriptions. Not counting rent, phone, electric, and food for myself and 2 kids. So, I guess I'll put this stuff off until I absolutly have to do it. I guess I can survive another year.


Well thats enough. ttfn

Hell-o

Well, I'm in from another day at Hell. Lets see today is father's day. Since I'm a single mom Happy Mother/father's day to me. If ya gotta be both you deserve both days.

Let's see what do I wanna bitch about today. Father's day bullshit sounds good. OK.

1. UGH got no perishable dairy order which means no whipping cream, ready whip(canned whip cream), or milk/cheese/butter. You catch my drift. On father's day. Can you believe that?

2. UGH is out of helium. This too on father's day.

3. My kids are trying to kill each other. Shouldn't they be with their dad?

4. I have to clean house, so I can move furniture.

5. My knee is killing me.


This has been my day so far. I hope it gets better. Though I won't hold my breath on that one.

I don't know.

This is because I've had a pretty shitty day. As you all know I work for UGH. Well the hell part has gotten worse. I started at 9 a.m. and got off at 5 p.m. From 9-10 I was the only courtesy clerk, from 10-2 there were 2 of us. Oh my god. It was so busy today.

Why would they make a scedule(spelling still sucks) like that? Well lets see. On Thursday they fired a courtesy clerk, on Sunday they fired a courtesy clerk, and today we had one no show quit and another walk out.

It is the walk out that was the most bizzaar. First off you need to know she used to be in produce. She sucked and wouldn't work so they demoted her to courtesy clerk which face it is one of the hardest jobs to do. She started the day by throwing people's groceries into the bags and the bags into the carts. Then she goes outside and is standing there so I asked her if she was on a break. She told me no. So, I told her that we, and notice I said we not you, needed to bring carts in. To which she yelled at me. What does she yell you might ask? "I did this job for a year before. I know what I'm suposed to do. You're not the boss of me." Then she went in and quit. What a bitch.

This has been a hard day. I really need a drink and a nap.

Well, ttfn.

Lots to do and no time to do it in.

I had like a ton of stuff to do at work to do today. Several people agree that couresy clerks do way more than we get paid for.

1. We bag your groceries and put them in the car for your lazy ass.

2. We clean up the messes your sorry ass make. Do you think they say "wet cleanup on aisle 4" for their health? No that is for the poor courtesy clerk to clean up.

3. When you get the wrong shit who do you think exchanges it.

4. Who do you think gets sent into the back room to look for shit that's not there? The back room is not that big. It has to hold all new shipments coming in. It's impossible to get to a brand new shipment that has just came in. It also has all the things that are broken and going back out. Not to mention the vendor i.e. pepsi/coke. Storage=freezer that is almost empty by the time a new shipment comes in, the meat cooler, the produce cooler, and the dairy cooler. In most cases if it's not on the shelf we tell you it's out because it is or there is no way to get to it in less than an hour and we're not authorized to use the power jack that you have to use to get it.

5. We write the rainchecks, explain the coupons because most people are too stupid to read the expiration date or the product description, and put away all the shit you can't afford to pay for.

6. In all weather we get the carts that people cannot bother to put back in the cart return. How hard is it? I always do it. You can too, it's not hard. How would you like to go out to the far end of a parking lot in the rain for a group of carts in a parking space that some dumb ass couldn't be botherd to put away in the cart return.


I make just a little more than minimum wage. Do you really think that I get paid enough to do all this shit? Just because some people can' t be bothered to do their part. You know cart returns say "please return your cart here" for a reason. I worked all day today and it rained.
If you are too scared to walk to your car by yourself in the neighborhood the stores in after dark at the far end of the parking lot. Duh. Park your precious car closer to the door. Don't make me walk out there in the dark and walk back alone in the shitty neighborhood.

Hell, people are so inconsiderate. But karma is good. A man the other day was yelling about some bullshit and calling everyone stupid. Well, on his way out the door. The evil man walked right into the automatic door, looked embarassed, and then left. Why did he not rant and rave and sue? He walked into the in door on his way out. Face first with a loud smack. hahahahaha
I have never laughed so hard in my life.

Oh well, ttfn.

books, books everywhere and nothing I wanna read

Not entirely true, but close enough. Right now I'm reading Starship Troopers. It is so ass opposite of the movie it is not even funny. It made flowers in the attic look down right accurate to the book. Next I get to read Event Horizen. When what I really want to read is the new Harry Potter book, and the new Kim Harrison book that comes out the 28th of this month.

Book 1 is called Dead Witch Walking
Book 2 is called The Good, the bad, and the Undead
Book 3 is called Every Witch way But Dead

It's called the Hallow's Series. It is so cool. It has witches, vampires, werewolves and pixies. It also has a little romance and sex thrown in for good measure. I hope she writes more of them they are soooo...ooo good.

We all know the Harry Potter books are numbered. Then I have to find a new series. Why you might ask? Because I love series. Following characters as they evolve through a series of books. What could be more exciting to someone with little or no life to speak about?

I wish the Clan of the Cave Bear series had come to an end instead of ending practically mid thought. Oh well, The Dark Tower is done. Shannon Drake appears to be done writting her oh so cool vampire romances. So, now I guess I must move onto Sci-fi or adventure.

The evil minions are trying to kill each other so I gotta go.
ttfn

What happened on my 32nd birthday?

Lets see I had a pretty sucky birthday until 5 when I got off work. Why was this you may ask?
Well here goes.

1. I woke up went to the bathroom and realized I started my period. As if that wasn't enough to kill the happy birthday spirit.

2. Walking back to bed after the kids went to school my knee popped. Oh great, 7.5 hours on my feet with pain. How fun.

3. Landlords doing a walk through tomarrow so I have to worry about that all day long.

4. Co-worker thought it was funny to get on the intercom and tell everyone I'm 40. I'm only 32.

5. Another co-worker thought it was funny to know and not tell me only to tease me with the fact that she knew what I was getting.

6. Children refused to clean their room and whined and cried.

Even though for a short time between 5:30 and 6:45 or so. My night was good. Zevon (my boyfriend) picked me up from work and came home with me just to sit on the couch and watch tv. We sat there the whole time he was here just snuggling. He also bought me roses for my birthday, and a birthday cake. It was the best birthday I've had in a long time. It was almost worth going through a hard day just to have that time and love from him. I felt very special.

So, all you men who read this you should know. A little time and a romantic gesture can go a long way tward making that special someones bad day a special time they will remember for a long time to come.

Well.....ttfn.

I'm smarter than you think I am.

An anonomous (spelling still sucks) comment inspired this post. I am a fairly intelligent person. I just don't want anyone to know it. If a person knows you have more than air between your ears they expect things from you. You know like good ideas, a clean house, and shit like that. Humor is the only defense I have ever found that really works. I make fun of just about everything in fact me, my mom, and uncle cracked jokes at my great aunts funeral. See, it worked no one freaked out we all just handle things diferently.

I handle my life in as worry free a way as possible for a cronic worrier. If the dishes don't get done today. Oh well, as long as I took that extra moment to tell my kids I love them before school and when they go to bed. Life is uncertain even in the best of times. Definately in the worst of times. I have been through a lot in my life and I think I deserve to flake off whenever I feel like it. I don't want to be a leader. I'm perfectly happy being a follower with random bursts of power in between.

The schedule thing is actually funny. Because I'm an obsessive planner ask Madame D. about my lists. I used to list everything. Including the order that cleaning had to be done in. I gave this up and just decided to live my life. I don't want to ever be ruled by lists again. I did make my own budget on my computer yesterday. I hope it's realistic enough for me to stick to.

Zevon has now cut my book budget from $20 a week to zero, by moving all of his books temorarily to my apartment in transit to the storage unit. I have a box full of books to read. I don't know what I'll do when I'm done with those. That $20 a week was at a used book store. I don't know how long I can read sci-fi fantasy. Though I will for as long as I can. I usually read 2-3, 350 to 400 page books a week.

Well,ttfn.

How the hell did you do that and other funny kid stories.

In the last few days my kids have done some of the stupidest and funniest things they have done in a while.


Yesterday, Saturday, June 4, 2005:

Little C. argued with me about cleaning his room. I was yelling at him and told him I was going to beat his ass. This little blond haired, grey eyed, angelic looking boy looks up at me and says, "Go ahead I think it's inevitable." Keep in mind this is a seven year old. About a year ago I asked him if he wanted a candy bar (bare with me my spelling sucks) and he says, "idubidably."


Also yesterday after Little C. started cleaning his room his big brother Big C. wouldn't help. So, what you may ask does this barely 3 ft. 38 lb. 7 year old do to his 4 ft. 55lb 10 year old big brother. He goes all the way across the room. (I watched this in disbelief from the computer desk in the living room.) Then this little angel, my baby, takes off at a full run and knocks his much bigger brother into the bunk bed and calls him a Jackass. Punches him in the head and then calls him a Fucknut. Needless to say he had to get a spankin' for the language, but the boy knows how to take care of himself. Big C. has been nicer to him than ususal today.


Today:


Little C. cut his finger with a pair of scissors while I was at work. The worst part about it was how the finger got cut and what could have just as easily have been cut knowing the little guy like I do. He cut his finger trying to cut a string off the leg of his underware. He could have given himself a home recircumsision. Imagine trying to explain that at the ER. I don't know how he did it doctor. He said he was trying to cut a string off his underware. Who would believe that story in this day and age.


A few days ago:


My sister Baby Bear was over. Got to think of a new name for her she's 17 now not a baby anymore. Well, back to our story. Little C. climbs up on her lap and says, "Aunty Baby Bear guess what?" Of course she says,"What." And what do you think the little guy says. He said," I'm am evil minion of Satan." What could I say to that but, "no Little C. you're mommy's evil minion."


That's all the dumb and funny things that I can think of right now. Gotta' go Little C. can read now and is trying to sneak a peek at what mommy is writing.

Just Venting My Brain

I wish I had a realistic instruction manual when my boys were born. Here are a few things I wanna know.

1. How do you keep and eye on two children at all times, while working, keeping a house clean, and dinner on the table? You know your eyes don't jump out of your head and chase them around.

2. Why do people who've never had a child think they know the best how to deal with your children? The little one ran off once when I turned my back for one second. He was gone for about fifteen minutes. The whole neighborhood was looking for him. What happened you might ask? He walks up the street and wants to know why mommy's crying. This isn't the point of this. That is what happened next. A woman from the next street over marches up to me as I'm yelling at this wayward child. And what does this bitch say? "You are a bad mother. How dare you let your child run off like that? You always have to watch them every minute of everyday." At which point I am pissed beyond all measure. Then I asked her "Do you have any children?" What do you think she said? No! Why would I want to have any of those smelly little monsters?" Can you believe that? No, kids. Doesn't even want any and she's telling me how to raise mine. I love my kids more than anything else in the world. People without kids should not advise others on how to raise thiers.

3. How do you get doctors to believe your child is really sick? When I was trying to get people to believe my son was having seizures no one would belive me. I knew my mother in-law had the absense seizures or petiet mal seizures. My son would stop midword and space off and then come back into his head (as I call it) and finish the word and go on like nothing had happened. I researched the seizures on the internet before I made a doctors appointment. I even called the inlaws to get the full history of epilepsy in the family. Even after all this research not even my husband or the doctors would believe me. They said I was over reacting to simple daydreaming. Well, Bitch guess who was right? That's right me. The person who spent 24 hours a day seven days a week with the kid. The EEG said seizure disorder. Now he' s on meds that help but he still has the seizures almost daily. And this is the worst thing of all. Even with the diagnosis his teachers still call me about him not paying attention while daydreaming in class.


4. Medicines that help also have bad side effects in children.
We have blood draws done every 3-6 monthes. My 7 year old is the only first grader in his class that knows the person who draws the blood is a flabotomist(my spelling sucks). The medication my son is on can cause liver and or kidney damage. The funest part is that when we raise his dosage of meds, which we will probably do next month when school's out, he has to be carried everywhere because he can't walk or sit up on his own. Anything that effects the brain chemistry can upset the equellibrium. Causing a perfectly healthy looking child to stager around like a drunk, fall down while trying to walk, and be sitting in a chair just fine and then just fall over onto the floor and hurt themselves.


These are things that have no real answers. They should but they don't so we just struggle on through life and pretend we have the answers to the questions. We do our best and that is all we can do. The only things that really matter are our families and their health and safety. Everything else is just noise in the background.

I think my 32 birthday comming up this Wed. is whats causeing me to be so reflective about my life. Oh well, ttfn (tah, tah for now).

DUH!!!!!!!

The children are outside playing.

I am watching shit every parent should know.

Don't leave the baby in the tub by itself. Duh. How many of those stupid Lifetime movies do you have to watch to know that.

Then don't leave appliances plugged in next to the tub. You know some dumb ass was trying to blow dry their hair in the shower to get that on the warning lable.

There is also the drowning in the toilet danger. This one is not so common, but does happen. How do you explain to older siblings that the baby went to heaven after playing in the potty. There's a toilet issue waiting to happen.

The bath seat is the worst invention ever made. The bath seat provides just enough space for a baby to slip down and be held under by the damn thing. They should be called drowning seats. The moron who thought that a hard plastic ring with three legs that are stuck to the bottom of the tub was a good idea to keep a baby in the tub was a huge Jackass.

The other obvious, keep all medication out of the reach of small children.

Now the new comercial about a terrorist safety plan. Lets see! Your child is lost in the aftermath of a terrorist attack. A plan in most cases isn't going to work because everyone in the family will panic. If there is no phone and the kids are separated from the parents both parties involved will freak out even it just for a little while. It's just how most loving parents and children react to unexplained separation.